This is the first of two books by Paul Dix looking at the impact of consistent adult approaches to troubled children in education settings.

But I’m Not a Teacher

Neither am I.

But you don’t need to be a teacher, or indeed an educationalist of any hue, to get a lot from this book.

The wide-ranging advice in here is good for any setting where children are being worked with in some way: school, youth club, church/mosque/temple, social work, residential home, secure unit…you name it.

You may need to do some adapting for the setting and the specific needs of the kids in your care, but the principles will absolutely apply.

When the humans change?

Dog owners know that puppy trainers always repeat the age old mantra – ‘it’s not the dog that’s the problem, usually, it’s the owner.’

How many ‘doggy doctor’ type TV reality shows have you seen where the people in charge of a dog need to learn the real lessons? And once they do, the dog’s behaviour falls beautifully into line.

When my son first arrived at our home from his foster carer, he needed us to take him through a period of ‘controlled crying’ in order to deal with his nocturnal distress (and our sleeplessness!). I distinctly remember the health visitor telling us that, ‘This will definitely work – as long as you two (the adults) stick to the regimen.’

It’s the same principle, isn’t it?

Paul Dix argues in this book – very convincingly – that when adult behaviour changes to be more relational, trauma-informed, ACEs aware and kind, kids settle down and everybody is happier.


My biggest praise in reserved for the raw practicality of this book. On page after page, he lays out the actual ‘what you need to do’ stuff, so the next steps are clear.

Most of us know quite a lot of theory about the kids we serve, but this book bridged all that into practice – what to do about it.

There are seemingly endless tips, tricks, prompts, lists of dos & don’t as well as advice for those in charge of the adults who are in charge of the kids.

Final Thoughts…

Despite being aimed at schools, this book has golden lessons for anyone dealing with children’s behaviour, get it, apply it & watch it work!

What do you think?…

Please let me know your thoughts… Leave a comment below.

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© Jonny Matthew 2023

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